Lost Cause
by Rikkudo
Summary: Some people will always fight. Itachi just wishes that he didn't have to be involved. Fem!Naruto/Sasuke, Short Drabbles. Backstory to 'A New Dawn'.
1. Chapter 1

**Lost Cause**

Children are a bit strange. They can be brutally honest to others without reproach, yet when it comes to themselves and their feelings they are left floundering.

Uchiha Itachi mused on this as he watched his own little brother bickering with Yondaime-sama's daughter about who was to push whom on the swing-set. The argument slowly degenerated until the two children were calling each other various feces-based names. It seemed that whoever came up with the most distasteful name would win. That's how these days usually went, anyway.

And then a minor scuffle would follow... which was starting right now.

Itachi picked himself up off of his bench with a sigh, taking a moment to dust off his clothes.

"My hair isn't a duck butt! Take it back!"

Naruko blew a raspberry at Sasuke.

Sasuke promptly threw sand in her face.

The girl screamed bloody murder and barreled blindly into her assailant, viciously kicking and clawing at anything she could her her hands on. Sasuke wasn't nearly as terrified as he probably should have been, instead doing his fair share of kicking and punching (Naruko's face was a particularly enticing target).

Itachi merely observed from his new perch atop the jungle gym. His usual policy was to let them fight it out until they collapsed. It happened every single time.

The other children didn't even look in their direction, having long-since grown bored of a fight that they knew would never end.

After almost an hour with bloody noses, pulled hair, a black eye or two, and scratched and thoroughly battered limbs, the two hellions collapsed, utterly spent. Itachi chose that moment to swoop in and sling both of them over his shoulders, making a beeline straight for his house so he could dump them in a bed of some sort.

Babysitting for these two was a lot easier than he thought it'd be.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>_So, this is the first of a series of short drabbles. Read and review?_

_In any case, credit for the idea itself goes to a friend of mine, Ekusukallybaa (whose stuff you all should be reading instead). He wrote 'Genius and Insanity', a chapter of which is the undeniable source of inspiration that I had for this story. These drabbles, however, are intended to go a bit further than that._


	2. Chapter 2

Iruka wondered who he'd pissed off in a past life to deserve this.

Meanwhile, Sasuke was chasing a laughing Naruko around the classroom, screaming, "I'll get you! I'll get you!" Somehow, Akamaru had joined the impromptu hunt, forcing an anxious Kiba to race after him. The rest of the class was in a state of total anarchy, with students arguing loudly and some outright fighting each other.

At some point one of the desks was thrown through a window and a bunch of the students started diving out of the classroom.

Children from shinobi families were harder to deal with in general than their civilian-raised counterparts, but this was just ridiculous. Iruka fought back the urge to simply walk away.


	3. Chapter 3

One day, Sasuke spilled Naruko's ramen.

All hell broke loose.

Itachi watched the pair disappear out the patio door (or through it, depending on your view), hearing as a panic-stricken Sasuke did his best to avoid certain death. He distantly realized that he should probably follow the two. To make sure they didn't kill each other or anything. Not because watching them fight was fun. Certainly not. Itachi was far too sophisticated for that.

* * *

><p>"You killed it! You <em>killed <em>it!"

"I said I was sorry!"

"Your sorry doesn't matter! My ramen is _dead_ because of you!"

"But ramen isn't even alive!"

Itachi fought back a chuckle as he tailed his wayward brother and Yondaime-sama's daughter. They hadn't caused much property damage yet, so he saw no reason not to let Naruko blow off a little steam. His brother would survive, he was sure.

That was when Sasuke tripped on nothing but thin air.

Naruko pounced on the opportunity. And on Sasuke.

Itachi just winced from his vantage point atop a roof in the market district. That looked incredibly painful.


	4. Chapter 4

Itachi was still puzzling over how Naruko had managed to convince Maito Gai that Sasuke desperately wanted to embrace the Springtime of Youth.

He and Naruko sat to the side, watching as poor Sasuke was run down by a blur of green. He didn't even try to remprimand Naruko for her prank—not only would the lesson never stick, but Sasuke was going to do his damndest to get even regardless of how Naruko was punished. Itachi found that it was best to let his little brother and Yondaime-sama's daughter resolve their issues on their own, if only because there was less work for him that way.

There was a sudden scream of anguish, and Naruko doubled over in laughter. Itachi spotted Sasuke sprinting towards them with murder in his eyes, Gai loudly praising his sudden burst of speed from some distance behind.

Itachi was ridiculously thankful that his sharingan hadn't activated in that particular moment. Somehow, he didn't think he could take remembering Sasuke dressed like _that_.


	5. Chapter 5

On his first day at the ninja Academy, Sasuke noticed something weird.

At the first opportunity, he pulled Naruko off to the side during recess. "Something weird's going on," he hissed.

Naruko frowned. "What's _that_ supposed to mean? _And why are we whispering_?"

Sasuke scowled, but managed to resist the urge to snap at the girl. "This is important! I think all the girls in our class are gonna do something to me!"

"Haa?" Naruko's mouth was open in disbelief, coupled with a raised eyebrow and a scrunched-up nose. Sasuke would have laughed if he wasn't trying to be serious for a change (he probably would have been a much more serious kid if he didn't spend so much time with Naruko).

"They won't stop staring at me!" It had been happening all day, and now Sasuke was thoroughly unnerved.

"Oh, is that all? And I thought you pulled me off the swings for something important."

"This _is_ important!"

"You're overreacting, scardy-cat. I'm sure they're just wondering how you got your hair to look like a—"

"If you say it I will rub sand in your eyes, then squeeze lemon juice over them."

Naruko's mouth snapped shut, until she thought of something else. "Waitaminute. Whaddya want _me_ to do about this?"

"You're a girl, so go find out what they want!"

"Ehhhh!? But they're all so _girly_!"

"Suck it up and do it, or I'll convince Kaa-San that it's too unhealthy too feed you ramen whenever you come over."

Naruko's eyes widened. "You wouldn't," she whimpered.

Sasuke remained impassive, having long ago gained an immunity to the puppydog eyes.

Naruko gave up after a minute. "Fine," she huffed. "I'll go see what they want."

* * *

><p>She came back at the very end of recess, easy finding Sasuke who was hiding in a tree.<p>

"Well?" he asked, abandoning his cover as he hopped down. "Do they want to kill me?"

"... No."

"Torture me?"

"No."

"Oh, that's good then. And I though I had to be worried."

"Some of them want to kidnap you, though."

"Huh?"

"And force you to go on a date with them so you'll see how great they are."

"_Huh?!_"

Sasuke noticed that Naruko's face was completely red. It was strange. This was the first time he'd seen her blush out of embarrassment rather than anger.

"They also yelled at me for . . . 'hogging you'."

"For _what_?"

"I'm not saying it again!"

"Okay, okay!" He paused before looking at her again. "Wait, so does this mean they _li_—"

"_Yes_, dumbass!" Naruko said with a shove, pushing him into the ground. "I don't know what they see in you, though," she sniffed before turning and walking away.


End file.
